Danielle M. Fullen MSN/Ed, BSN, RN
All my
life I wanted to work in healthcare. I
graduated high school in 1996 and went to a university majoring in
pre-med. In October, my whole world
turned upside down; my mom was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia
(AML). It was extremely hard for me to
concentrate on school. I started failing
and eventually quit.
My mom is the reason I became a
nurse. The nurses took such good care of
her. They sat and comforted her, talked with her without rushing her, listened
and cried with her. I thank God everyday she survived.
I
started nursing school in 1999 at St. Francis Medical Center School of Nursing
(no longer exists). It was tough, but I loved it. I graduated in June 2002.
My
first nursing position was on an adult cardiac step-down floor. Even though I
loved working there, I had a nagging feeling that my calling was —working in
pediatrics. In 2003, I accepted a position in the pediatric intensive care
unit. I immediately knew I was meant to
be there.
Over time, I dreamed of becoming a
pediatric nurse practitioner or a flight nurse.
My dreams were crushed in May, 2004.
I started having lower back pain.
I thought I was working too much and it would go away. It didn’t… it just got worse. An MRI showed that I had both Degenerative
Disc Disease (DDD) and a Herniated Disc (HD) between L4 and L5. An x-ray showed I had a fracture at L5.
I refused to give
up!
Physicians said, “You are too young to
have back surgery” and “I don’t want to keep giving you narcs”. I did not want surgery and I did not want narcotics. I wanted to be better and go back to my life.
Physical therapy helped, but only when I was there. After PT, the pain returned with a
vengeance. I also had 3 Lumbar Epidural
Steroid Injections (LESI), which did not help.
On September 7, 2005, I had a spinal fusion from L4 to S1. My recovery went as planned. I was in PT and
the medication and therapy were helping.
I thought my plight was finally going to be over. I was wrong, very wrong.
I refused to give
up!
Sometime in 2006, I started having
severe, sharp pains in my lower back. Suddenly,
I could barely walk. There were times I could
not get out of bed, and when I tried, I screamed. I would be awake most of the night
crying. My meds weren’t working
anymore.
I was back to work in the PICU. I had such a hard time walking that I had parents,
whose children were dying, asking me
if I was okay!
I went back to my surgeon and had x-rays,
CT, MRI, and he could not figure out what was wrong. I ended up losing my job
and my remaining dignity. For a second
opinion, I found a reputable orthopedic surgeon. He could tell, just by the
x-ray, that all the metal in my lower back was loose. So, I had my second back surgery, a re-fusion
of L4 to S1 with a left iliac crest bone graft.
My recovery process was rough and I never had complete pain relief.
I refused to give
up!
I tried to work as a floor nurse to no
avail. I ended up having to take a light
duty position as a case manager. I loved
it! But, three months later, I was told the
position was temporary and I was forced to resign. Then, I worked at a
pediatrician’s office and then told I needed surgery again.
I had my third back surgery—a re-fusion
at L4 to S1, a fusion at L3 to L4, a laminectomy at L3 and 2 partial
laminectomies at L2 and L4. Since then,
my pain has been horrible and excruciating.
My surgeon said I needed to see a pain doctor. He also told me something I will never forget:
“Danielle, you do
know that your nursing career is over now.”
I remain determined to prove
him wrong!
Depression consumed me. Thankfully, I found
a wonderful pain management group. They listened, helped, and treated me like a
human being.
In 2009, I applied for Social Security
Disability and was denied. My pain doctors gave me medication,
spinal injections and a rhizotomy. The
pain remained unbearable. They decided I
should see another surgeon to see if I needed another surgery or if I could be
a candidate for a spinal cord stimulator (SCS).
In 2011, I saw my third surgeon, for my forth
major spinal surgery. This surgeon tried
his best to control my pain. On March 7, 2011, he performed a spinal re-fusion L3-L5
and Dynamic Stabilization between L2-L3.
My recovery was rough. No PT as the pain might increase and interfere
with my recovery.
I refused to give
up!
In 2012, I hired an attorney and
applied for social security disability once again. This time I got it!
Overall, I had received over 30
epidural steroid injections (ESIs). Not
one ESI ever worked longer than 2 ½ weeks.
The pain doctors wanted to continue giving me the ESIs but I found that they
are not FDA approved due to the potential for paralysis. So, I moved on.
I found a new team willing to help
alleviate my pain. With their help and guidance, I decided to have a spinal
cord stimulator (SCS) placed.
On August 7, 2014, I had the SCS trial
and it worked! It helped decrease my
pain by at least 55%. Since the trial
worked, I had another surgery – and the SCS was permanently placed.
The permanent SCS started out working
well; and decreased my pain by about 55%. I finally thought I could go back to
work. But once again, I was disappointed.
For three months, the SCS was
effective. Then the pain increased despite the fine tuning. I had this foreign
object in my spine doing nothing. On July 6, 2015, I had my sixth spinal
surgery – I had the SCS removed and ended up with thoracic pain due to the
procedure.
In spite of the pain, I went to Chamberlain College of Nursing online and graduated
with my BSN in 2011. I then graduated
with my MSN in 2013 and later obtained a post-graduate specialization in
nursing education.
I refused to give
up!
My nursing career
is NOT over!
Currently, my pain doctors and I are
working on a medication combination. The excruciating pain is in my lumbar
spine, shoots up to my thoracic spine, and into my left hip and thigh. I have
been diagnosed chronic lower back pain, degenerative disc disease, lumbar
radiculopathy, lower extremity radiculopathy, spondylolisthesis, spinal
fracture (L5), spinal stenosis, lumbar pseudo arthritis, herniated disc
(L4-L5), lumbar discogenic syndrome, post laminectomy syndrome, spinal
hemangioma, and left hip bursitis.
Through all this excruciating pain, I remain
positive. Positive
that one day, I will have some relief and get back to work in nursing, as a
nursing instructor.
Danielle Fullen can be reached at: chloebear3@hotmail.com