How a nursing student worked through lupus, fibromyalgia and depression to find her light

                                                            

By Tiffany Dwileski, RN, BA

Guest Blogger

At 26 years old, I felt I could run circles around people my age. I was driven, full of life and positivity. While working full time in a fast-paced ophthalmology office as a Certified Ophthalmic Assistant, I was gaining experience and studying to take the Optometry Admissions Test. While performing assessments, assisting in surgery, post-op care, and teaching, I learned how much I enjoyed spending time with my patients.  Educating patients became the highlight of my day; I could not shake how it felt when a patient had that “aha” moment.  At that point, I decided to change my career goals and pursue nursing. As a nurse, I could educate patients often, and the areas to work in were endless. 

Start of nursing school

Fast forward to the first week of second semester clinical experiences. We were providing total care to bed bound patients. I was leaning over a bed and felt a burning pain in my latissimus dorsi that got more intense the longer I stayed in that position. 

What was that? 

Thinking I just pulled a muscle, I rested at home but the pain was not going away. Suddenly, I was exhausted all the time, going to nursing school nights and weekends and working full time during the day. Yes, I was tired, but not like this. All I wanted to do was sleep. My lower back pain persisted while standing and I found myself too tired to complete the workday or go in at all. I also was having trouble keeping up with school. I felt wiped out, achy, my hips hurt, and I was having depression symptoms. Brief sun exposure would create a red patch on my nose and cheeks and make my body feel covered in sandbags. Seven months of visits to specialists including endocrine, infectious disease, and rheumatology resulted in diagnoses of lupus and fibromyalgia.

However, there is more!

Fired from my job for missing too much work and dismissed from my nursing program for failing a course, I was so depressed that I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation.  There I worked with therapists who helped me realize that I was feeling lost. A team of providers helped me. A medical regimen for lupus and fibromyalgia along with a treatment plan for my depression was developed.

 Return to nursing school

In the fall I returned to nursing school determined that I would finish. It was important that I communicated with my professors about my condition, potential limitations and requested assistance when needed. Clinical days were very trying but I did not give up! Learning to practice good sleep hygiene, avoiding inflammatory foods, and engaging in light exercise such as walking, yoga, swimming, and listening to my body helped. Rest, eat, rest, repeat got me to graduation. 

Additional hurdles

While practicing as a nurse additional health challenges emerged. Heart surgery and treatment for melanoma seriously threatened my return to nursing. Times when I had to go on long-term steroids, I loathed the most; the medication made me feel angry and fat. Through these times, I learned to give myself grace.

Finding my light

Thankfully, I found that I could continue to work! I found my light working with children with developmental disabilities. The care I provide ranges from in-line suctioning of patients on ventilators to administering medications to patients experiencing explosive behavioral outbursts.  Many of my patients are nonverbal or minimally verbal, but they have taught me so much about bravery, spirit, humanity, and not giving up when the odds are against you. It definitely puts things into perspective when it comes to dealing with my conditions and evolving career as a nurse. I am building resilience to continue without losing hope for my future. 

Visit Tiffany on Linkedin:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffany-dwileski-29443536

Or email her at tdwileski@gmail.com