By Tiffany Dwileski, RN, BA
Guest Blogger
At 26 years old, I felt I could run
circles around people my age. I was driven, full of life and positivity. While
working full time in a fast-paced ophthalmology office as a Certified
Ophthalmic Assistant, I was gaining experience and studying to take the
Optometry Admissions Test. While performing assessments, assisting in surgery,
post-op care, and teaching, I learned how much I enjoyed spending time with my
patients. Educating patients became the
highlight of my day; I could not shake how it felt when a patient had that
“aha” moment. At that point, I decided
to change my career goals and pursue nursing. As a nurse, I could educate patients
often, and the areas to work in were endless. Start of nursing school
Fast forward to the first week of second
semester clinical experiences. We were providing total care to bed bound
patients. I was leaning over a bed
and felt a burning pain in my latissimus dorsi that got more intense the longer
I stayed in that position.
What was that?
Thinking I just pulled a muscle, I rested
at home but the pain was not going away. Suddenly, I was exhausted all the time,
going to nursing school nights and weekends and working full time during the
day. Yes, I was tired, but not like this. All I wanted to do was sleep. My
lower back pain persisted while standing and I found myself too tired to
complete the workday or go in at all. I also was having trouble keeping up with
school. I felt wiped out, achy, my hips hurt, and I was having depression
symptoms. Brief sun exposure would create a red patch on my nose and cheeks and
make my body feel covered in sandbags. Seven months of visits to specialists
including endocrine, infectious disease, and rheumatology resulted in diagnoses
of lupus and fibromyalgia.
However, there is more!
Fired from my job for missing too much
work and dismissed from my nursing program for failing a course, I was so
depressed that I checked myself into the hospital for suicidal ideation. There I worked with therapists who helped me
realize that I was feeling lost. A
team of providers helped me. A medical regimen for lupus and fibromyalgia along
with a treatment plan for my depression was developed.
Return to nursing school
In the fall I returned to nursing school determined that I would finish. It was
important that I communicated with my professors about my condition, potential
limitations and requested assistance when needed. Clinical days were very
trying but I did not give up! Learning to practice good sleep hygiene, avoiding
inflammatory foods, and engaging in light exercise such as walking, yoga,
swimming, and listening to my body helped. Rest, eat, rest, repeat got me to
graduation.
Additional hurdles
While practicing as a nurse additional
health challenges emerged. Heart surgery and treatment for melanoma seriously
threatened my return to nursing. Times when I had to go on long-term steroids,
I loathed the most; the medication made me feel angry and fat. Through these
times, I learned to give myself
grace.
Finding my light
Thankfully, I found that I could continue
to work! I found my light working with children with developmental
disabilities. The care I provide ranges from in-line suctioning of patients on
ventilators to administering medications to patients experiencing explosive
behavioral outbursts. Many of my
patients are nonverbal or minimally verbal, but they have taught me so much
about bravery, spirit, humanity, and not giving up when the odds are against
you. It definitely puts things into perspective when it comes to dealing with my
conditions and evolving career as a nurse. I am building resilience to continue
without losing hope for my future.
Visit Tiffany on Linkedin:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tiffany-dwileski-29443536
Or email her at tdwileski@gmail.com
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